Merry Christmas Mars ,hope you not too worn out from visiting everyone who was thinking bout you ! Today has been a strange sort of a day . As you know the girls went up to Pauls last night and came back this afternoon so I didnt cook xmas dinner or do anything christmassy .But for some reason I was quite happy , there was a lovely calm about the house. Am guessing you were about ? Although other days I have felt sadness ,today, somehow I knew you didnt want me to feel anything other than calm .It s been nice babe . I dont know if your Mum, Stuart, Kirsty , Dad... in fact anyone close, felt any different but i really hope so. I ld love you back here like it used to be but...., Mars I know you would rather I didnt grieve. So from now I shall try to have a smile everytime I mention your name or memories float around my head .You truly are a free spirit now and I love you jus the same as i ever did . Happy Christmas babe................xxxxxxxxxxx